


The Wild Tactician

by gatekat



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-20
Updated: 2010-04-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 14:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatekat/pseuds/gatekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at Pre-Programmed Tactician behavioral patterns and courtship rituals as seen thorough the optics of a wildlife narrator. Seriously. Don't ask.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wild Tactician

**Author's Note:**

> Vaguely covers the events in Wanderer's Home arc 2 ch 32 and goes from there. May or may not hold true to the final events of the main series in arc 3+. Can stand alone just fine.
> 
> Those who know my work know that I write romance. I write smut. I write torture. I write angst. I do _NOT_ write humor. And yet here it is. Fear it.

Notice the undomesticated Pre-Programmed Tactician in his native habitat.

Despite the isolated and desolate conditions this pride finds itself in, he takes an unconscious pride in his appearance. He has chosen a Datsun Fairlady 280ZX as his alternate mode for local conditions, a look that is strongly associated with law enforcement by the native life. The crisp lines between black and white, the flawless armor polished to a high gloss and decorated with markings of local law enforcement. Despite the bland base coloration, he is the most ornately decorated of the entire pride. It is a deeply ingrained feature of his kind. They are leaders without charisma; if they did not look to be stronger and fitter than most, none would take them seriously.

It is known, but it is never spoken of within the pride, for all fear his wrath as the keeper of laws and dealer of punishments.

Only the Prime, the absolute leader of all Autobot prides, can feel immune to the law-keeper's wrath, but even he knows not to push his second in command too far. For when a Pre-Programmed Tactician of rank feels his purpose is too threatened, he can snap in a uniquely self-destructive way.

Watch as he makes the rounds of his pride. He holds himself aloof, much to the annoyance to all under his care, but even the most irritable - the twin Lamborghini brothers of gold and red in this small, isolated pride dubbed the Ark - understand instinctively that he could not protect them as well as he does if he were closer to them. So they taunt and tease him, pursue him for his attentions and the status of being mate to the ruling Tactician, but none, not even the wily Intel Chief, truly expect him to respond positively. It is simply the nature of his kind.

We have named him Smúrthacht, Prowl in Gaelic, for his talent at moving stealthily without sneaking about.

* * *

Ah, this is a truly rare opportunity. The joining of two prides, each with a ruling Pre-Programmed Tactician. While this joining of prides seems to be voluntary, it is no sure thing, for the Pre-Programmed Tactician is a very possessive creature when it comes to their place in the pride and these two are of equal rank both within their respective prides and under the Prime.

This new one is most unusual. His markings are all but absent and his coloration is a matte finish of the same dusty rose color as his pride. It is the rarest of the breed; a Guard. We have named this one Kapitän, or Master in German, for his leadership of the Guard pride.

Ah, this is the critical moment. They have spotted each other.

The larger one, Kapitän, is posturing submissively and making appeasing sounds to the resident as he allows Smúrthacht the dominant role of making the approach. Both have their sensor-wings rigidly upright in tension at the meeting, no matter how civil this may look. While much of the subtle meanings of sensor-wing positioning have yet to be deciphered, it is known that the higher they are held the more aggressive the tactician is being in asserting his rank.

Right now Smúrthacht's are as flared out and high as physically possible, asserting both his intention to maintain his dominant rank and to make himself look more imposing. Kapitän's facing of his opponent and the rigid, upright stance of his sensor-wings only a fraction of an inch below the level of Smúrthacht's is submission without looking weak to his own pride or the new one.

It is unlikely that anyone but these two can even understand the subtleties of their posturing.

Just as quickly as it began, the pair nod, their relative rank apparently sorted out, and go about their duties as if there had been no conflict.

Not so with the pride's dominant warriors, who are sizing each other up now. The violence of this breed with each other is exceeded only by the violence they display towards Decepticon intruders.

* * *

We are honored have a new researcher and narrator for the remainder of this season. Dr. Tami Miran is here to complete her doctorate on the courting behavior of the undomesticated pre-programmed tactician.

* * *

It is a rare honor to be witness to such an unusual event. The pre-programmed tactician is not a breed prone to having a mate, however when one has decided on a suitable prospect, he is infinitely patient and determined to claim what he wants. This particular case is what brought me on this expedition. Both individuals are pre-programmed tacticians.

From the reports I read before coming, the aggressor is the newcomer, Kapitän and he is pursuing Smúrthacht. It is most unusual for a lower ranking member of the pride to succeed in courting pre-programmed tactician, but it is also rare for two of them to be involved.

Ah, my first sighting. Such handsome specimens! They are leaving the main den area together in vehicular mode, side by side. They certainly appear companionable as they work their way towards the maintained roads. So different as well, given they are the same type. The dominant one, Smúrthacht, has a brilliant finish of black and white with many decorations, including extra lights to intimidate both his own kind and the native life. He is a truly breathtaking specimen.

His companion and suitor is no less impressive. Slightly larger, but with the simple coloration and markings of a Guard. Though he keeps his appearance more subdued, it is clear he takes no less care of himself for his lower rank within the pride.

With the law-keepers gone, the warriors of the pride begin to stalk the area, watching and waiting to assure themselves that the pair will not return too soon. No doubt the red one has mischief in mind. Despite his status as one of the top ranking warriors, he has displayed an enjoyment of causing mischief to rival any youngster. He has brought his brother, one of the fliers and the two small Guard into his plans this time.

His need to do this must be great, for he has rarely escaped the law-keeper's punishments for long.

* * *

We have tracked our pair of pre-programmed tacticians far from their home territory in central Oregon. They have finally stopped in Las Vegas of all places. This was concerning at first as they seem to have settled in for a stay, going so far as to associate with the local natives and acquire a den. Could they be setting up a new pride? It seems so unlikely, given their status and type.

Yet here they are, beginning a patrol of Las Vegas together. As expected, they are side by side with Smúrthacht slightly in the lead when possible and Smúrthacht is in front when they must drive single file. Hopefully they will be gone long enough for us to secret at least one camera in their current den and they do not notice it when they return. It would be the first time anyone will have footage from inside a den.

Oh! Smúrthacht has spotted prey. A hunt of native life this far from home is unusual but not unheard of.

Kapitän has moved away from him, following the hunt along a parallel path to remain out of the way while remaining close as Smúrthacht mingles with the native hunters, joining them on this hunt with a cover so flawless that none express surprise at his presence.

Smúrthacht is bold today, perhaps attempting to show how fit he is to the native life, or possibly showing off to Kapitän. Either way he has taken the lead in this hunt. It is fascinating how well these transformers can camouflage themselves so the natives take them to being native life as well.

Here he is going in for the kill. A perfect ram of his front bumper into the prey's back quarter sends the unlucky quarry spinning out of control to the side of the road when the entire pride surrounds it for the kill.

Matching his observed behavior closer to the Ark pride's den, Smúrthacht is quietly moving away from the excitement to join Kapitän several blocks away. They rest briefly from the excitement, bumper to bumper and engines revving. As simple as this seems, it is rare for a pre-programmed tactician to be this physical. It is a signal of significant trust and affection to be allowed this close to one.

With a successful hunt the pair make a leisurely path to their new den, which has been successful rigged with two normal cameras and a night vision system while they were out. If they do not detect the invasion and additions, we will have the first ever footage of den life.

* * *

Our pair have settled in for the night, comfortable in their new den on piles of fabric and cushioning. Despite only having met six months ago, it is clear this pair have made their choice to be close allies. This is extremely soon to be so trusting for their kind.

The glowing cubes are food. It is literally liquid energy, and comes in several varieties, the color indicating the potency. A bright pink is the most common. This blue type that Kapitän has offered is one of the more potent blends that is seen during celebrations and can cause a drunken effect in most.

That expression, the slight increase in tension of Smúrthacht's body, is surprise. Perhaps Kapitän has overstepped his bounds, but his gesture is accepted and their fingers touch longer than needed as Smúrthacht accepts the cube and relaxes again. They settle down, communicating and sharing a comfortable silence. It is a torture to many researchers to know they have a complex language yet be unable to translate. Despite all our efforts, only a rudimentary understanding of a few of the many complex vocal signals are currently understood.

_did you see that?_

_don't you_ dare _cut the feed. This is once in a lifetime chance!_

Ah-hem, this would be the final courting stage. Kapitän is being very bold, dangerously so if Smúrthacht rebuffs the advance. The sensor-wings are extremely sensitive, able to pick up the slightest change in pressure. Such a caress is very intimate, as is the pressing together of mouths or foreheads you see now.

Now Smúrthacht is returning the caresses as they gradually close the distance. Even in mating, the pre-programmed tactician is slow, calculating and thorough. They are likely to take many hours before settling in to rest, content with the choices they have made.

We may not be able to translate the words Smúrthacht is uttering now, but the intent that he is pleased with Kapitän's efforts is clear as he presses his chest close to his subordinate tactician.

Smúrthacht seems to be nearing his peak. He has given up his efforts to pleasure Kapitän. The trembling and high-pitched keening are both signs that Kapitän's attentions are having their desired affect on his superior as he pays carefully attention to where the sensor-wings attach to the body.

Kapitän holds Smúrthacht close, his touches lighter and more soothing as Smúrthacht stiffens in pleasure and recovers from the intense experience. He is no doubt very pleased with himself and his new status. Even more now that Smúrthacht is returning the attention he just received.

They are likely to sleep deeply, if they sleep at all tonight.


End file.
